Bleh That Vomit again

I think these keys, this coffee gives me a sense of next second for the one I'm in misery right now. How do I heave? I keep on thinking so. Over and over and over again.

At least I like this typing feel. What is love? why Do I live?

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God help me

I am always trying to reach myself, trying to make sense of things because I know I am not smart. Why am I constantly reaching for my desires that at the same time I do not desire? I feel like I am locked within things that destroy me and ruin me and does not let me know what is the greater good, that fulfills the good too rather than excuse it. The people that loves their ego into non-stop fear fulfilling life of survival, non-stop survival. Right now I am inside my room and I am good. I have good music, and my health is at a soothe with a 7% menthol candy I suck. I had just taken a shower and my bed is at the coziest relationship with my skin. My relationships of myself and others denies itself of my desires are so far-fetched. I am delusional for thinking what is good. For thinking inputting good into people is good. I mean, I am not all holy. Even for action like murder, I think telling people to not murder or cause pain does not make me good. That's what I mean. I've give...

Rigor

Logic is the new magical thinking. Our ancestors died when they have decided that certain things mean the end of it, its death. When you are sad to the core and kills the self for it, it is the end of it. When sickness hit you, the plague is unstoppable, it is the end of it. When war or raging higher up men, powers you, it is the end of it. Until a logic man comes up and tells all of it, this taxonomical life. You are not sad, you have depression, it is just a fact and not the end of it. You are not sick to die, you have a sickness, it is just fact and not the end of it. You are not a soldier, it is just fact, and political boundaries can be changed by rigorous action, it is not the end of it. Logic is optimism at the not dying. It is just how we kept on living. It is how we increase the average age of living.

23/6

I think about it so much, so deeply tonight. All the things I've lost that was once important to me. Do things go naturally pale? Do all of these go away? Can I retain this for longer? These vague questions goes hand in hand with my confidence, just wobbly. I feel for you. But how do I know? Do you know I question that all the time in my head? How do I know? There is that age old thought of that there are certain actions for certain morale or certain personality. But I don't know. I just don't know. I like you but what do I know? Do you know how beautiful you are? and I could use other words but you are so beautiful. I can't do this anymore. I can gain for I know there is a loss. And the hurt is always waiting by the door. I can't keep moving this way. God forbid I have a certain kind of comfort. But I can count my blessings, it waits for me to pick another comfort. But goodness you are so beautiful I'm so hurt by all of what I don't know. I just want to k...

Pers

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