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14/6 BLA LA LA LA

 Ok so of course I cant sleep I am on that teh ais


Time goes on and on and on. Maybe one day itll click okay. Like that day where I changed my perspective on things that makes me feel bad. I feel better because I am changed.

I am misunderstood. which is not true. I let myself be misunderstood. 

One time I smiled while vigorously daydreaming and 3 of my friends coindidentally was talking about something controversial. They then saw  I was grinning like a mad man. Of course the takeway is that I find the controversial topic funny. I am stuck with that perception of theirs now. Though I dont find the topic funny. 

But thing is I could explain myself. I could let it be explained. But I chose not to. I am not only stupidly not being able to let myself be understood in one go but also pathetic enough to not be able to stand up for myself and explain. 

And this is all because I believe that time will pass and that is the ultimate solution for everything. fuck Me

For what??? for what do I think that. We will rot as flesh underground, yes. but fuckj you! 

Like of course I feel bad right now but I keep on telling myslef who tf cares even though they will continoiysly see this part of me that way. even though its not true. 

I kill my arrogance? if thats the case I should kill ALL parts of my arrogance. but no! I just pick and choose and resent people and time for all that is.

Time scares me. It scares me that its forever. I fucking hate it. Its the only thing I truly hate and scared of. Im so scared. I fucking dread it.

so maybe i let it. I make my peace again. letting it pass out like. time will be there

time will pass. its the only true thing. maybe idk shut up kys pretentious mf.

next time dont drink caffeine

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