Skip to main content

15-11

 What do you know?


So here's the thing. I know everything is detachable. They all come and go. They are all suction cups and it depends on how suctionable your soul, your skin, your mind is. I am one of them too. I am a suctionable particle amongst all souls. We partake in this shenanigans every day at every hour and every minute. Everything can be lost and any moment. We trust it so much and then blame something else, a kind of concept of destiny, when we lost all the suctioned. We trusted it in the first place no?

I know this. And in the end, I see it. I see the kind of destruction the pain the sadness that i will experience when I do experience this kind of lost of the provisional things. 

I feel bad about certain things. This certain things change as time pass by. I let it consume me, its a suctionable that I can't get rid of but desperately want so. But this week, actually around these two months, I have been feeling bad about that one thing. That thing is, I cant say. Its vaguely an interaction of people really. Well, generally I feel bad about how society works anyhow. 

This type of interaction of people just makes me ill. Because its just how it is. Like how we just... sleep. Everything mechanical of people irks me. If I ask why it doesnt answer it. The irkness comes from the fact I cant do anything about it. And people will gives that bullshit thing where they say "oh but you have a choice" on how to feel and stuff. And its like yeah i do. 

Another thing that ruined me is that I am in inflated belief that i ruin people. That I am a bad person. Again, People will say hey that type of pity doesnt do anything. Well, I understand you People, i am you. I get it.

Another thing that irks me is that, there are just so many things. I feel like I have consumed the edge of the earth. YET, there are still so many thigns. Thing is,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i feel like maybe i havent consumed enough, its just ive consumed too much unorganized stuff. I want it all yet, i feel like i want nothing. are you like me? dont answer that, we are all alike

Also why do we lie to our children? for some hope they can retain? isnt that a lie your parent told you? Are we choosing to keep on going? this shit isnt some natural selctioen survival shit idk man. Idk.

So many things so many things a lot of time i experience nothing yet I am.....

I am too dumb to let it all out.


I pretend I bite and chomp aggressively on a sort of imaginary meat that is the most fullfilling, meaty, sinewy, fleshy delicious goodness. And that imaginary meat gives me all the solution to all these trivial already known problems. I feel trivial. I know i am. I am an object. annnnddd thats for another day of anohter problem to talk about.


One day (I already did) i am going to write about how nice life is. And i will completely believe it becuase it is true. I thank God for all the beautiful things He has made and that is completely truthful.

But for now I leave myself in overhydration, but no food. ????? wtf am I talking about

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rigor

 Logic is the new magical thinking. Our ancestors died when they have decided that certain things mean the end of it, its death. When you are sad to the core and kills the self for it, it is the end of it. When sickness hit you, the plague is unstoppable, it is the end of it. When war or raging higher up men, powers you, it is the end of it. Until a logic man comes up and tells all of it, this taxonomical life. You are not sad, you have depression, it is just a fact and not the end of it. You are not sick to die, you have a sickness, it is just fact and not the end of it. You are not a soldier, it is just fact, and political boundaries can be changed by rigorous action, it is not the end of it. Logic is optimism at the not dying. It is just how we kept on living. It is how we increase the average age of living. 
Post a Comment
Read more

God help me

I am always trying to reach myself, trying to make sense of things because I know I am not smart. Why am I constantly reaching for my desires that at the same time I do not desire? I feel like I am locked within things that destroy me and ruin me and does not let me know what is the greater good, that fulfills the good too rather than excuse it. The people that loves their ego into non-stop fear fulfilling life of survival, non-stop survival.  Right now I am inside my room and I am good. I have good music, and my health is at a soothe with a 7% menthol candy I suck. I had just taken a shower and my bed is at the coziest relationship with my skin. My relationships of myself and others denies itself of my desires are so far-fetched. I am delusional for thinking what is good. For thinking inputting good into people is good. I mean, I am not all holy. Even for action like murder, I think telling people to not murder or cause pain does not make me good. That's what I mean. I've give...
Post a Comment
Read more

I lost my Card

     My sister's hatred on me is like a breakfast orange juice. It's a common notice among people that western idea, or maybe like a cereal. But I am not that, of course I am not. Though declaring what I am to her idea is some kind of narcissistic birth. Maybe I have had lived as this narcissism, like a name. Like a hidden subtle name to be called out by irking faces.      I think a sleep makes them a different. I've touched candles as they burn, and as it dries while I don't see it's residues, I feel it. Is that how we see people? Is that how we connect? I am just sleepy right now.  I don't know how to get rid of myself. I've pretended like an out of work actor. I've method acted the way out this pretend. Pretend, then I'm pretentious. I can see the world's tries ignoring death except for their own. One, two, three is a disorganized pattern. Words are my tries. Words are my tries. I'll write my manifesto soon. 
Post a Comment
Read more