Pers

 I think about it so much, so deeply tonight. All the things I've lost that was once important to me. Do things go naturally pale? Do all of these go away? Can I retain this for longer? These vague questions goes hand in hand with my confidence, just wobbly. I feel for you. But how do I know? Do you know I question that all the time in my head? How do I know? There is that age old thought of that there are certain actions for certain morale or certain personality. But I don't know. I just don't know. I like you but what do I know? Do you know how beautiful you are? and I could use other words but you are so beautiful.  I can't do this anymore. I can gain for I know there is a loss. And the hurt is always waiting by the door. I can't keep moving this way. God forbid I have a certain kind of comfort. But I can count my blessings, it waits for me to pick another comfort. But goodness you are so beautiful I'm so hurt by all of what I don't know. I just want to k...

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 Ok so of course I cant sleep I am on that teh ais Time goes on and on and on. Maybe one day itll click okay. Like that day where I changed my perspective on things that makes me feel bad. I feel better because I am changed. I am misunderstood. which is not true. I let myself be misunderstood.  One time I smiled while vigorously daydreaming and 3 of my friends coindidentally was talking about something controversial. They then saw  I was grinning like a mad man. Of course the takeway is that I find the controversial topic funny. I am stuck with that perception of theirs now. Though I dont find the topic funny.  But thing is I could explain myself. I could let it be explained. But I chose not to. I am not only stupidly not being able to let myself be understood in one go but also pathetic enough to not be able to stand up for myself and explain.  And this is all because I believe that time will pass and that is the ultimate solution for everything. fuck Me For wh...