Pers

 Hello, Something good happened to me. I applied to so many jobs and in the end I get a very nice fulfilling one. I have God to thank. I'm so distrustful of this good thing. But I am happy. Love. I miss love --- have you ever talked to another person, and realize that all you have is yourself?

 Times changing again but I don't. Listen... It is not about me. It never was and it never will. Only I who thinks about me. Listen, I miss us. I miss where we would love. I miss love. It's the easy conclusion. Where are you?  Listen, the news I gathered today, made aware, I am so sad. I feel so pained. People are so pained, and it's almost dreadful to see how bad it all is, in the grand scheme of things. Waiting for heaven seem so true, seem so reliant and the desperation that calls to us. Why do people murder? What if that's not the real question? Listen, I have dreams, I have goals, I have bureaucratic machines I'd like to invent. I have these things I don't think through, that results to shame and guilt mostly but I still do. Listen, I feel icky, just like you. Listen, I am to jazz. Listen, I don't want to talk to that guy in that other account. Listen, I don't want to give you my skin and flesh unless we love. Listen, I think so many things can be s...

 I felt it today, the change! I am happy and I want to retain it in this blogpost. For the future me whose possible anxiety or despair ridden may need. But I hold it now for as long as I can. People see things differently, everyone does. I'll be honest and true about the situation. About what happened. When I was in a call with ----, I had a conversation with him about something I had been curious about for weeks. That maybe guys have this hierarchical manner in which they hold with people they are attracted to. They go from below to above to satisfy their needs. I question this point of view with resentments. Then ---- replied with his answer of how he sees girls do this. With other keywords like exposure, motives and purpose. He also replied that how he has the goal of finding a wife. With all these in mind, I thought about how I used to think that this does not answer my question. Then, I realized that - Holy shit, we are confined within our skulls. This purpose, this goal, the ...

 It's the same again, for you Over and over again your Sisyphean body replenish itself of the waste. You build yourself up to life that you have inside of you. The coded need to become a father. And I, an empty vessel you echo yourself in to think I can be the truth.  I only want a windy plane of a beach at night. The only virtual that is lights and music around. With some people to share existence with, a dialog scripted in 6 pages for each duos. We are grand and inhale the niceness of the now. Along with the chemicals in our bodies. We are made of flesh and fate.  Today, I reminisce of all the times I have made a decision. Am I to make a decision today? I have made one. I want you but only through flesh and fate. I love the boulder I roll, you do not, but you're insane.