Pers

 I used to be jealous of certain things. Of certain people with certain things. But I am not anymore. I think I still am to a certain extent. Now I just feel sad. I feel sad of the context behind the certain things. and that is it is provisional. All things that is provisional. But things that everlasting does not mean good. I try to define something undefinable so much. And that is my sorrow, that is my pain. I try to pretend as if I have control over soemthing so much. and That is the burden I chose to set upon myself. I feel bad because of something. And I want to know inasmuch how i can deter that. They like to say that the brain is a neuroplastic thing. It is a malleable thing. But how can that be?  Anyway, I am bad in more ways than one. i have been for the longest time. And i cannot for sure say why do people around me keep this illusion upon me like I am not. I am bad and I define it as so because people around me define it as so. Why is it so hard? Sometimes I think, ...

 Mfs will say, oh that metaphor about meat? Yeah you just need meat. You just need to eat. Or tend to your physical needs. Yes, I know. I KNOW. I made the choice to not. Fuck you and your sense needs. Why do you stay so much on ground thinking it'll all be fine. I know you are good. Simple people let simple be.  Ok I ate. You want a recipe? This is my page my trash. Don't dumpster dive another man's treasure. Thank you. I appreciate your thoughts.

 What do you know? So here's the thing. I know everything is detachable. They all come and go. They are all suction cups and it depends on how suctionable your soul, your skin, your mind is. I am one of them too. I am a suctionable particle amongst all souls. We partake in this shenanigans every day at every hour and every minute. Everything can be lost and any moment. We trust it so much and then blame something else, a kind of concept of destiny, when we lost all the suctioned. We trusted it in the first place no? I know this. And in the end, I see it. I see the kind of destruction the pain the sadness that i will experience when I do experience this kind of lost of the provisional things.  I feel bad about certain things. This certain things change as time pass by. I let it consume me, its a suctionable that I can't get rid of but desperately want so. But this week, actually around these two months, I have been feeling bad about that one thing. That thing is, I cant say. It...

 I love typing on the keyboard. I think it gives a slight kind of a half percentage of dopamine hits every time you press a button. I don't know how dopamine works but it feels like so. Anyway, I am lazy. I am being lazy and I need to do the things I need to do? yes or no? Anyway, I like writing. And I mean that by typing. They should change it now. Change the thing to typing instead of writing. They should have that with distinct.  Also, I am tired of adults. We ruin everything really. Why do we think we know so much. I think I know so much by saying 'why do we think we know so much'. I feel bad for everyone but I blame everyone for how we are. Either or yes or no. You know how when you say sorry, nothing really happens? If I say sorry to the world what then? How come all of our decisions are so heavy by consequence yet it doesn't mean anything. What then? I take this lightheartedly. I drank coffee today. Coffee with Milo with Milk. It tastes quite good. I am egoistic....